Fate

Danae

Disclaimer: Not mine. No money (duel meaning there).

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful betas, Ihket and Susn. Spoilers for TS by BS. This has been floating around in my otherwise empty head for a while but I’ve been trying to put it off until I finish Wages. But, alas, I did not get Wages done in time for dues and I figured this one would be easier to squeeze into my extension….this will be posted at my site eventually. Comments are welcomed. Thanks!

Jim shook his head and tried to shake loose the feeling of dread that had taken up residence there since he and Sandburg had separated two hours before. It was bound to happen eventually, after all. Blair was a cop now. He had duties to perform. He had things he had to take care of that sometimes would not include Jim. Jim was not his caretaker. He was his partner, and Blair was his, gun and all. If Simon said, “Sandburg, you follow up on this and Jim, you follow up on this,” then that was the way of the world, the lay of the land. It sucked, as Blair would so tactfully put it, but it was inevitable. He got out of the truck and headed into the building where he would find his witness to Cascade’s latest major crime.

He was just getting back into his truck when the call came over the radio. He was there before he realized it. There, being the place where Blair had been shot. He stood in the alleyway and watched helplessly as the ambulance attendants loaded his partner into the back of the vehicle and drove away with him. He turned back to the scene. There was so much blood. Nobody could lose that much blood and live. Could they?

As he waited in the plain, cold waiting room for word of his partner, the story unfolded. Blair’s “witness” turned out to be the perp. Blair had stumbled on the truth somehow and called for back-up. His back-up never came, despite the fact that there were at least three uniform cars within a five minute ETA. A few questions to the dispatcher revealed that the officers suddenly had other things they had to do. Nothing could be proven, but the picture was pretty clear to Jim. They had waited for the moment. They had waited until Jim would not be there and they had left Sandburg in the cold to die.

The doctor came. He was covered in blood. Blair’s blood. “I’m sorry, Detective. We did all we could do.”

“Blair!” Jim sat up in bed. He took in his surroundings then reached out with his senses. There, below him, was the sound he searched for. Blair was alive. “Bad dream,” he muttered. He got out of bed and padded downstairs. He needed some water. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it at the sink even as he stared at the double doors that his friend lay behind, sleeping peacefully, or as peaceful as Blair ever slept. Jim wondered how he could even sleep the night before he was to start the Academy. He had seemed so wired earlier. Jim sighed.

“Okay,” he said aloud. “I’ll just have to make Simon understand that he’s got to stay with me. At least until this whole fraud thing dies down. Yeah, that’s good. I can make him understand.” He put down the glass and went back upstairs.

The next morning dawned and Jim watched as his friend got ready for his first day at the Police Academy. Blair was nervous and it was not a happy nervous. Jim knew he was worried about whether or not he could cut it as a cop. Jim, on the other hand, had no doubts. Blair could do anything he put his mind to, of that Jim was sure. But was his mind put to it? The question nagged at the corner of Jim’s conscience. Blair had never really said anything after that day at the station when he had been presented with the badge and the opportunity to earn it for real. Jim had never said anything either, too afraid that he would find out that this was not what Blair wanted. Also, he supposed, afraid that, given the opportunity, Blair would take the out and leave. So, was it desire to be a cop, desire to be Jim’s partner, or the lack of any other path that kept Blair here, that had Blair getting dressed for his first day at the Police Academy, a place that he should have never had to go.

That he should have never had to go. Jim rolled that around in his head for a moment. Then the moment was gone as Blair grabbed his jacket and was gone with it, barely giving Jim a chance to say good-bye.

He was just getting back into the truck from questioning a witness when the call came in on his cell phone. It was Simon. He hoped his captain was going to tell him that they had a break in their latest case and that the stake-out for that night was called off. That was not what the man said. There had been a problem at the Academy. Blair was at the hospital.

Jim might have flown to the hospital for all he remembered of the trip. He sat, just as in his dream, oddly enough, waiting. The waiting room all the more surreal for being the twin of the one in his nightmare. Simon sat in front of him, explaining. They had the cadets in custody. It seemed that they did not like the idea of a fraud being allowed into ‘their’ Academy. They claimed that they were just trying to scare him. How were they to know he had a history with water? When he panicked, they just tossed him in and he hit his head. They got scared and ran, only to run headlong into Major Wilson. The major managed to get the truth out of them. They had left Blair floating facedown, unconscious, in the Academy swimming pool. They had not even bothered to try and pull him out.

The doctor came. “He’s alive, Detective, but I must tell you that his brain was deprived of oxygen for some time. It’s almost a foregone conclusion that there will be brain damage. As to the extent, I can’t be sure until he wakes up.”

Jim waited. Blair woke up. It was bad. Jim waited, with a patience he didn't know he possessed. But it was getting better.

Jim picked up the clutter left from Blair’s occupational therapy. He was getting some fine motor control back, Jim noted as he picked up the coloring book and crayons. Blair’s purple dog did not have too many stray hairs sticking out of the lines. He took the book to Blair’s room.

“You left this one,” he told the young man who had been Sandburg but was now just Blair.

The book was grabbed and shoved under rumpled bedcovers.

“That’s not where that goes, you know.”

A grin was his answer.

“Okay, suit yourself. Seems like it would be pretty tough to sleep on. Think of the paper cuts.”

“Shim?” Blair had a hard time with his j’s.

He was supposed to correct him. “Ja- J-Jim.”

“Ja- J-Jim.”

“Good. Now, what?”

“Shim…”

He could not smile. He absolutely could not smile. “What, Blair?”

“I wass’nt always dumb, huh?”

Jim was set to correct the pronunciation of wasn’t when he realized what he had been asked. He felt like he had been punched. “You’re not dumb. Who said that?”

“Nobody. I just know.”

“Know what?”

“Know I used to know more stuff, used to be able to do stuff.”

“You can still do stuff and you’ll learn again.”

Blair was shaking his head. “I heard ‘em.”

“Heard who?”

“I ‘member.”

“Remember what?”

“Shoulda died. Can’t do nothin’ no more. Better off dead.”

“Blair!” His face was wet. His heart was pounding. “Son of a bitch!” He flung the covers off the bed.

“Jim?” came a sleepy question from the level below.

“Go back to sleep, Chief.”

“Is something wrong?” The voice was getting closer. He was at the bottom of the steps.

“No, sorry I woke you.”

“I thought I woke you. You yelled at me. Thought maybe I was talking in my sleep or something.” His friend chuckled a little and Jim almost smiled.

“I didn’t mean to yell. It was a dream. That’s all.”

“I can make you some tea.”

“No, really, I’m fine. Go back to bed.”

“Okay.” Then he was gone.

Jim reached up and wiped both tears and sweat from his face. “What the hell is wrong with me?” He flopped back onto the bed. He had a damn headache. He closed his eyes. When he opened them gain, he was in the jungle. Far off, he could hear the sound of an animal in pain. But it was not just any animal. It was a wolf. The mournful howl cut through Jim’s chest and he felt as though he could not breathe.

“What do I do?” he asked the wind.

“You listen to your dreams.”

He spun around to see Incacha standing before him. “Incacha, what do they mean? Do they mean that if Blair becomes a cop, he’ll die? And the Academy? Does that happen if he leaves here tomorrow to go there? Tell me, please.”

“On this path, you have seen two possibilities.”

“Just possibilities? Not certainties?”

“Only the past is ever certain. The future remains unclear.”

“But he could die or be—damaged?”

“Yes.”

“What do I do?”

Incacha shook his head. “That is up to you. You must decide.”

“What other path is there for him? Tell me something! Don’t just leave me twisting in the wind here!”

“I can’t help you, Inquiri. Sometimes, fate cannot be avoided. Sometimes, it can. You have been given a glimpse at fate. What you decide to do with it, only you can decide.”

The damned alarm cut off his retort. Jim sat up in bed and ran a hand across his closely trimmed hair. He had been given a glimpse at Blair’s fate. What would he do with it? He made a decision.

Blair was in the kitchen. “Coffee’s on, man. I’m going to hit the shower.”

“Blair.”

“Yeah, Jim?”

“You’re not going to the Academy.”

His friend blinked several times. “Um,—excuse me?”

“You’re not going. I’ve thought it out and—“

“You’ve thought it out? What about me? This is my life you happen to be ‘thinking out!’”

“Blair, honestly, do you want to be a cop?”

There was that half-second of hesitation, the tell-tale sign. “I want to be your partner.”

Jim smiled. “That’s what I thought. You’re not going.”

“Then, Oh Great One, tell me. What am I going to do? I seem to be out of options at the moment. I seem to recall that I tossed my ‘other’ career down the toilet a few months ago. I’m out of money, man. I’m on my last legs and I’m going down fast. I don’t have anywhere else to go and I’m going to the fucking Academy!”

“You don’t even want to go to the Academy!”

“Well, you know, Jim, sometimes in this life, you just don’t get what you want! It’s a lesson I’ve learned quite well lately. Now it’s your turn.” He stormed into his room.

“Blair!” Jim shouted at the closed doors. “You don’t understand!” He sat down heavily at the table.

“I understand that you don’t want me as your partner.” A hastily dressed Sandburg flew out of his room and past him. He stopped at the door. “I understand all I need to understand.”

“Blair, wait! I can explain!” Jim went after him as he disappeared out the door.

“Nothing to explain, Jim. I get it. I didn’t before but I do now. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to burden you with a partner you don’t trust. Maybe Simon can find somewhere else in the department where I can be of some use. God knows, I’m not of any use to anybody right now. For all the good I am to anyone, I could have died at that fucking fountain. Who would know the difference?!”

“No!” Jim grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. He shook him. “Don’t you ever say that! That’s not true! You’re my guide. You’re my friend, damn it.”

“But I’m not your partner.”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not. I can’t be without the Academy. You know that. Look, I need to go for a walk, okay? I need to process this.”

“You don’t even know what you’re processing, Chief!”

“Jim, please. I’ll come back. Even if it’s only temporarily. Let go, Jim.”

“We’ll talk when you get back?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Okay. It’s not what you think at all, you know.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. Be careful, Blair. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

Jim saw a glimmer of understanding in Blair’s eyes. “Jim—“

“Go for your walk. We’ll talk when you get back.”

Blair nodded.

When the phone rang, Jim nearly jumped out of his skin. He laughed at himself as he answered it. He figured it was Simon checking up on them since it was supposed to be Blair’s first day at the Academy. His captain was about to be in for a surprise.

But it was Jim who was surprised. It was Mrs. Marly at the corner market. He should come right away. There had been an accident. Jim threw the phone. He had no idea where it landed. He stood very still. “Wake up,” he ordered himself. Nothing happened. “Wake up!” he tried again. He was still in the nightmare. Sometimes fate could not be avoided. That was what Incacha had said. No, why give him the warnings if he could not do something to change Blair’s fate? The nightmare had become reality, nonetheless. He shook himself. He had to get to Blair.

He ran all the way there. He expected blood. He expected to find death hovering over his guide. He did not expect Mrs. Marly to meet him at the door with a smile. Nor did he expect to see Blair grinning at him from the floor with an ice pack on his head. He nearly fainted with relief.

“I didn’t mean to scare you like that, Jim. I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Marly was apologizing as Jim sank to the floor next to Blair. “I caught Blair and asked him to help me with that shelf there but before we could get it fixed, it tumbled right down and hit him right on the head. He wouldn’t let me call an ambulance so I called you.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Marly. Really, don’t worry. Jim, I’m okay.”

“Chief, we have to talk now. Not later. Now. Let’s get you home and check that out.”

“So, you see, I can’t let you do this, Blair. I can’t take the chance that those visions, dreams, whatever, might come true.”

Blair was pale when Jim finished. “Damn.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“We should talk about what you’re feeling here, Jim. These dreams seem pretty intense and I didn’t have to have them.”

“There’s no need to delve too deep here, Blair. It’s pretty straightforward. I was scared half to death. I still am. I’m not repressing. I’m not avoiding. This is way too important for that bullshit.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Jim?”

Jim chuckled then sobered. “This isn’t the path for you, Chief. It took those dreams to make me face that. I knew it before but—well, I didn’t want to give you up. Not as my guide, my friend, or my partner.”

“Thanks, Jim, but that does still leave me ungainfully unemployed. What am I going to do?”

“I have an idea.”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you later when I have it all worked out. Trust me?”

“With my life, Jim.”

“Then you trust me more than I deserve, Chief.”

“What the hell do you mean, he’s not going to the Academy? We pulled strings I don’t even want to think about and now he’s backing out?”

“He’s not backing out exactly. I’m backing him out. I can’t explain this to you but I know if Blair went to the Academy and/or became a cop, he would not survive it intact.”

“What?”

“It’s a sentinel thing, Simon.”

“Well, what the hell are you going to do now?”

“Resign.”

“Run that by me again?”

Jim pulled out his badge and gun. “Blair made a sacrifice for me. I’m returning the favor. I have a press conference to give in a few minutes.”

“Jim!”

“I have to, Simon.”

“Does Blair know?”

“No. He’d pitch a screaming fit if he knew. I’ve already sent a statement to the Chancellor at Rainier. I don’t know if it’ll do any good but I want Blair’s good name given back to him.”

“What about you?”

“I have a few contacts in a few places that could use somebody like me. And Blair, if he wants to go.”

“Jim, do you have any idea what you’re talking about doing?”

“Yeah. I’m doing what I have to for my guide. Hell, Simon, I’m doing what I have to for my friend. The media frenzy will die down pretty quick if we disappear for a while. The legal ramifications as far as my cases, I have somebody working on that already. Dad can afford the best, you know? And I’ll let you know where we are.”

Simon sighed. “I’ll miss you both.”

“We’ll visit.” He laughed. “Of course, I’m assuming a lot. I haven’t even told Blair yet. He may decide to stay if the University lets him back in.”

“Jim, that kid would follow you to hell.”

“I know. That’s why I have to do this.”

“Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming. A few months ago, my friend, Blair Sandburg, stood before you and announced that he had falsified his dissertation. There was an untruth told but it was told that day. Blair Sandburg never lied in his dissertation. He lied to you that day to protect me. I am a Sentinel and I’m prepared to prove it.”

To say that Blair was angry would have been the understatement of the year. But as Blair always did, he forgave Jim fairly quickly. He handed Jim a cup of coffee as Jim came out of the tent. They had decided to drive to Canada and do some camping before flying out of Vancouver to Washington D.C. to start their new lives as “security consultants.” Jim sat down on the log next to his best friend who stared at him as though he was trying to figure something out.

“What?”

“You do realize that I could get hit by a truck tomorrow and you would have thrown your career away for nothing?”

Jim chuckled. “Knowing you, it could happen.”

“Gee, thanks, Jim. I’m trying to be serious here.”

“I know and I could say the same back to you.”

“True.”

“Thing is, Chief, whatever happens from here, whatever we do, we do together. As partners.”

“Partners.” Blair whispered.

“Yeah.” Jim put his arm over Blair’s shoulder. A sound off to his right drew his attention. He turned to see a wolf regarding him with yellow eyes. The animal blinked and for a split second its eyes turned blue. Then it was gone. Or was it? A flash of gray in the brush was followed by a flash of pure black.

“Your fate, Sentinel, has always been to follow your guide.” Incacha’s voice floated to him on the whispering wind. It sounded somewhat amused.

“And sometimes fate cannot be avoided.” Jim answered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, Chief. Drink your coffee and let’s go fishing.”