Moments of Change

Danae

Notes: not betaed but spellchecked. Quickie for dues. You can archive if you like. I doubt this will ever see my webpage. Almost like two companion pieces like Do What You Have to Do and Too Long, Too Far from Home… but shorter…much shorter. Spoilers for TSbyBS.

Blair

****

Where did it all go wrong? I thought we were friends. I know that, at first, this hard-assed cop was just the embodiment of my academic dream… a real live modern sentinel. But he became so much more. A real friend. I'd never had one before. There were friends, sure. But I could depend on him; he made me feel like I had a home in him. I was an idiot. I thought, well, I don't know what I thought, except that he wouldn't turn his back on me; our friendship was stronger than that. And then…and then, the dissertation. Talk about being an idiot. I was careless. I should have realized the power it would have. I really should have known. In the end, I tried, and he tried, but the damage was done. The tension, the stares, the snide comments weighed on us both. It was him or me. And let's face it, he's more important.

The sound nearly deafened him as his consciousness was jerked back to reality. Through tears, he registered that he was in the wrong lane. Then he saw the truck. Fear and adrenalin filled his brain, leaving him with one last thought. Would Jim care?

Jim

***

It all went wrong from the very beginning. I thought I could handle it. There he was, that longhaired bouncy hippie kid, telling me he had the answers…Junior Einstein/Lost puppy. But he was more than that. A little brother. Sure, I had a little brother but that was never like this thing I had with him. He was there for me, even when I was hard to take; he made me feel like I had a family in him. I was an idiot. I thought, well, I don't know what I thought, except that he would never betray me, our friendship was stronger than that. And then…and then, the dissertation. Talk about being an idiot. I agreed to it. I should have realized what it could do to my life. I should have known. He tried to fix it. I tried to fix it, but it just wasn't enough. The stress, the bruises, the smothering air of sadness was killing us both. I let him go. Problem is, I never told him I didn't want him to, never told him how important he is to me.

Ringing drilled into his brain and brought the bullpen back into focus. Blinking, he picked up the phone. The voice on the other end sent his heart into overdrive. "I'm coming! Tell him, I'm coming!"

Blair had to be okay. He just had to be. And then… and then, they would try harder. They would fix it. It was important.